Bonnard

The thing about Blogs is, well, they are just that, blogs, or a train of thought or consciousness that takes on a shape or form (should I trademark that?).

We were assigned the task of writing about the article “The Art of Making A World” (“Art”).  If this were a traditional English class, I would feel compelled to do a summary of the article, quoting and citing and spewing back what I thought the teacher wanted to read.  However, I have entered my senior year at Herricks and am empowered with choices- do I want to do what is expected or venture out and use my voice and see what happens.  Voice wins. 

Upon reading “Art”, I thought, or knew, the article was about the artist Pierre Bonnard, his life, choices and paintings. But, then, almost immediately, like layers of a painting, the article changed and became about, well, me.

I am in the midst of applying to colleges and have many choices to make.  Where am I going to go? What shall I declare as my major?   Will I get in? What are my essays going to be about? My questions go on and on and on. The point is, that “Perspective is the key”, as stated in the first few sentences of Art. Perspective, of course, is the answer. 

“Art” spoke about perspective from an artist’s point of view, specifically, Bonnard. Bonnard chose to be with a woman, Marthe, who seemed a bit mentally unbalanced, to say the least.  Bonnard connected to her because , as stated, he “is the great example of an artist who made the most of a relationship that, to outsiders, seemed tragic, but which proves that all relationship are finally unknowable except to those inside them.” (p11) For me, perspective is not unlike Bonnard’s.  No one knows who I feel about this college process or can help me decide where I will end up.  It is all up to me and I do not have to explain my choice, only be happy with the final decision. 

“Art” put it best by stating that ‘it’s about looking hard enough to recognize, say, that things appear different when seen out of the corner of your eye or squinting into the sun or staring from the light into a shadow.”  (p.13)That is the artsy interpretation of perspective.  I would say, perspective is stepping back, taking a deep breath, looking at your options and then making an informed decision based upon the choices you are given. Whoever said that life mimics art or is it that art mimics life, wasn’t kidding.  Choices. We all have to make them.  Bonnard could have left Marthe, but chose to stay with her because she, on some weird level, inspired his art, but arguably ruined his life.  Choices.  I will have to make a choice about where I want to go school and cannot let my own Marthe (whatever preconceived notions about college or what I believe something one school may have over another) stop me from making my choice.

Bonnard said it best, “The moment one says one is happy one no longer is.” (p. 22) Bonnard would “go and look at them [subjects]. I take notes. Then I go home. And before I start painting I reflect. I dream.” (p.23) Again, here is an artist as college applicant.  If we are content, we do not strive.  Picking one college because of its location discards another potential college which has a program or two of interest.  Reflecting, imagining, dreaming, visualizing, picturing where I want to go makes me no different than an artist like Bonnard painting for perfection, nor was he different than a high school senior searching for his or her perfect fit.

I keep waiting for a sign from the universe telling me where to go.  It is said of Bonnard’s art, “things don’t happen, they’re implied.”  Just like in a Bonnard painting where Marthe is in the bath, the landscape is outside the window and a piece or part of Bonnard is somewhere in the picture, the answer is there, I just have to look for it.